Praying for Enemies (People Who Hurt You)
- RD Montgomery
- Jul 25
- 4 min read
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44).
This isn't an easy verse to follow, is it? When we experience pain or feel wronged, our natural human response often kicks in – that "fight or flight" impulse. We want to lash out, defend ourselves, or simply flee from the source of our discomfort. Maybe it's a friend who betrays your trust on social media, leaving you feeling exposed and hurt. Or perhaps it's a boss who constantly criticizes or undermines you, making every workday a struggle. For some of you right now, the idea of loving someone who is making your life miserable is impossible.
However, the answer is within the verse itself. It requires us to pray. All prayers should be genuine, and it might take some time for you to get there, but keep at it. Remember to pray for yourself while you are praying for them.
How Praying For Enemies Brings You Closer to Being Like Christ
It is Exactly what Jesus Did: Jesus not only commanded us to love our enemies, but He lived it out perfectly. Even as He was being tortured and crucified, Jesus prayed for those who wronged Him, saying, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34).
It Breaks the Cycle of Negativity: Holding onto anger or bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. When you choose to pray, you're actively releasing some of that negative energy and aligning yourself with God's Word. Remember, we are commanded to love and forgive as
Jesus did - sacrificially. "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse" (Romans 12:14).
It Cultivates Jesus' Perspective: What if the person who makes you miserable is actually miserable themselves? What if they're trapped in a pattern of behavior they hate but struggle to break free from? When you pray for them, even a simple blessing, you open yourself to the possibility that there's more to their story than just their impact on you. This shift in perspective can lessen their power over your thoughts and emotions.
It Changes the Relationship and Fosters Forgiveness: You may start as adversaries, and maybe their view of you will never change, but you cannot truly love and pray for someone and still view or treat them as an enemy. This results in forgiveness.
It Humbles You: Praying for someone who has wronged you forces you to let go of your "rights," your expectations, and what you might feel you "deserve" from them or from a situation. It's an act of profound humility, choosing to submit your feelings of offense or injustice to God. This aligns with scriptures like Philippians 2:3, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves," and James 4:10, "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." This spiritual discipline helps us step out of self-pity or self-righteousness and into a posture of grace and dependence on God.
It Gives You Peace: When you give it all to God, you are promised a powerful peace that can exist regardless of your circumstances. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
It Allow Others to See Jesus in You: As long as you have adversarial feelings toward someone, it is impossible for them or anyone else watching to see Jesus in you. Our attitude and how we treat people are powerful ways to show what Jesus is like. When we choose to love and pray for those who mistreat us, we live out the call to be a light in the world. As Jesus says in Matthew 5:16, "In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." By showing love instead of anger, even in tough relationships, we show the life-changing power of Christ.
It Invites Holy Spirit Empowerment: As your prayers for those who challenge you become a genuine desire for them to experience God's love and peace, something profound happens. The Holy Spirit will meet you in that desire, empowering the changes within you. He enables you to forgive more deeply, love more fully, and truly reflect Christ's character in ways you couldn't on your own. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23).
The Outcome is God's
While prayer is powerful, it's important to remember that praying for someone doesn't guarantee they'll change, nor does it mean you'll be the one they talk to about changing. You should always be prepared to help someone to establish or re-establish a relationship with God, but sometimes God sends someone else. In addition, sometimes God may try to encourage a person to change by sending them a trial that may be very unpleasant. Instead of moving a mountain, you may be dropping a mountain on someone.
Remember that change starts with you. You cannot make the world a less hateful place by adding more hate to it. Choosing to pray for your enemies is an active step in fostering peace and love, beginning within yourself.
It is my prayer this post helps as you struggle with people who mistreat you. If you genuinely follow what Jesus asks, you will be surprised at the profound shift that happens within you, drawing you closer to the heart of Christ.
Scripture used or considered in the writing of "Praying for Enemies (People Who Hurt You)" by RD Montgomery. All Scripture is in ESV format unless otherwise specified.
Numbers 6:24-26
Proverbs 15:1
Proverbs 16:7
Matthew 5:16
Matthew 5:39
Matthew 5:41
Matthew 5:44
Matthew 17:20
Luke 8:23-25
Luke 23:34
Romans 12:14
Romans 12:18
Romans 12:20
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Galatians 5:22-23
Ephesians 4:26
Philippians 2:3
Philippians 4:6-7
Philippians 4:11-13
Colossians 3:12-14
1 Timothy 6:6-8
James 1:20
James 4:10
Hebrews 12:14
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