Are You a Self-Righteous Person?

1. You want to use this guide to prove someone else is self-righteous. 

2. You are uncomfortable appearing weak, vulnerable, or sinful in small groups or one-on-one.

3. When you admit your sinful nature, you pick what you believe are minor, insignificant sins.

   1.  “I knew I shouldn’t have had a second piece of birthday cake.” 

   2. “I was shopping online for a wedding dress while I was at work.”

   3. “I wasn’t in a good mood and lost patience with my wife.”

4. When someone gives you Scriptural advice, you believe it doesn’t apply to you because that is not one of your problems.  This is not only self-righteous; it is pride and very wrong.  Every area of our relationship with God and others has room for improvement. 

5. When someone gives you Scriptural advice, you get upset because you think they can’t see how much progress you have made in that area.

6. You believe you are less credible ministering to others if they know too much about the real you.

7. You are easily offended, angered, or highly defensive when rebuked or admonished.

8. When there is a relational problem with someone, you expect them to reconcile by apologizing and behaving better.

9. Your anger can escalate quickly and get out of hand.

10. You build a bubble:

    1. You prefer to talk over your issues with people who typically agree with you.

    2. You prefer to be in fellowship with people who admire you.

    3. You are overly fond of privacy.

11. You feel you do an excellent job of holding yourself accountable.

12. You like external validation, like being admired for being a good person.

13. You are not quick to let things go unless someone apologizes or admits you are right.

14. There is a person or people you know who would be better if they acted more like you.

15. You do not easily give others the benefit of the doubt.

16. You get to decide when a fault against you has been committed.

17. You read this entire list, and none of it applies to you.

18. You read this list and found one thing you really disagree with, so the rest will not be considered.

19. You read this entire list and admitted you have some work to do but never plan to reread it.

Are you a self-righteous person? Yes. So am I.

The Antidotes to Self-Righteousness

1. Pray. 

   1. Ask God to cut through your defenses and to search you. Psalm 139:23

   2. For wisdom. James 1:5

   3. For contentment in your relationship with Him and what He thinks of you. Psalm 139:1-6, Romans 14:4

   4. Ask God to do what He feels best to humble you.  Deuteronomy 8:2

2. Humble yourself before God  Matthew 23:12

3. Confess and then repent 1 John 1:9, Romans 2:4

4. When there seems to be conflict: (Philippians 2:2-4, 1 Corinthians 6:6-7, 1 Corinthians 13, 2 Timothy 2:14, James 1:19)

   1. Start by believing you are in the wrong.  Ask yourself:

      1. What am I assuming here vs what do I know for sure?

      2. What am I misinterpreting?

      3. How am I in the wrong?

      4. Is there a chance other stress or diminished patience is weighing in here, and I should walk away?

   2. Next, ask yourself if you need to win.  What does being right accomplish here?  Is it a loving thing to do to push back?

   3. Would this be better handled with a wise Christian mediator involved

   4. Is there a chance to minister lovingly to the person due to the conflict? If so, keep it brief, stick to Scripture, and try to limit the scope.   In other words, it doesn’t need to be a long lecture about numerous issues.  Ask yourself, “When I get done, will the person feel hopeful or torn down?”

5. Get into a small group and get comfortable and vulnerable.  1 Corinthians 12:14-26, James 5:16

6. Invite and contemplate advice and rebukes from fellow loving Christians. Remember, letting someone continue down the wrong path is indifference and hateful.  Proverbs 27:5-6, Proverbs 28:23