Guiding Questions 1: Is What I Plan To Do Purely Selfish or Selfless

RD Montgomery
Aug 6
4 min read

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. Philippians 2:3-4 (NLT)

As Christ-followers, we are asked to live a humble life that loves and serves other people. I sometimes get asked for advice about a decision that the Bible may not provide a direct answer, but it provides a general guideline. One of these guidelines can be summed up in the question, “Is what I plan to do purely selfish or is it selfless?”

Let’s face it. Our modern culture is heavily pushing people toward selfish behavior. You are being taught to:

Live your truth
Follow your heart
You do you
Do what makes you happy
You deserve to be happy
You can be anything you want to be

This type of self-centered life results in fleeting moments of happiness and is linked to the increase in mental illnesses. That is why the Bible says that it is better to give than to receive (Acts 20:35b).

While this guiding question is biblically based, it does not replace the need for Holy Spirit-guided Bible study. It helps you to look at your motivations and recognize selfish behavior. It also may help when what you want is both selfish and selfless.

As an example, let’s say you are thinking of asking for a raise at work, which might benefit you. However, if your primary intention for that extra income is to dedicate a significant portion to supporting others or charitable causes, then the action isn’t purely selfish. It transforms from personal gain into a means of generosity.

One thing to remember when you are asking yourself the question. We humans have an incredible capacity for rationalizing poor decisions. One of my expressions on that subject is, “When you really want to do something you shouldn’t, any bad excuse will still work.” There is no point in asking unless you are going to be completely honest.

One way we rationalize selfish living is by “taking a vacation” from our normal lifestyle and doing something selfless. This might look like serving the homeless on Thanksgiving, providing toys and food for people in need at Christmas, writing a check to a charitable organization, or even going on a church mission trip. These are all worthwhile activities, but a Christ-follower should be observably loving and serving in their daily life.

Serving is not just helping someone in need

Living a selfless life certainly includes helping people in need, but it's also about noticing the small things we can do for anyone. This means we are always on the lookout for ways to make someone's day a little better by demonstrating that we care about them. It could be as simple as offering to grab your coworker a drink while you're getting one for yourself, or holding a door for someone who has their hands full. These acts of service, done without an expectation of reward or even a thank you, are part of living selflessly.

Sometimes what may seem selfish serves a selfless life

It’s important, however, that this question doesn’t lead to foolish or harmful behavior. Being selfless doesn’t mean neglecting your own well-being or making choices that are unsustainable. In the US, many people these days suffer from “busy sickness.” To combat this, it’s crucial to budget your time as carefully as you budget your finances. Just like with a financial budget, you need to make sure that your time covers all your spiritual, mental, and physical needs. God gave us the Sabbath day because He knew we needed it.

When I visited the Ark Encounter in Williamstown, Kentucky, a few years ago, I went knowing that God would teach me something, and He did not disappoint. While thinking about the incredible time and effort Noah and his family spent on the Ark, my thoughts were directed to all the regular things he must have still done. I realized that because he was given a purpose to fulfill, every other part of his life served that purpose. His days off, meals, games, and sleep—everything he did to stay healthy fueled his mission. Similarly, you have a purpose, and you must protect your ability to carry it out.

Christ-followers may sometimes have to limit their time serving at church. Many churches have an unhealthy distribution of volunteer work where few serve and many just attend. I have fallen into this trap of serving too much, and I ended up weary. Encourage your leaders to stop passively preaching about getting involved and get on the phone and start asking uninvolved people directly. As the saying goes, “One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

If you can be completely honest, questioning your motivations can be a helpful tool that encourages us to have a heart for other people and weeding out selfish decisions and actions. By honestly looking at our motives with this question, we can point ourselves towards God's will. However, it’s important to remember that this question doesn’t take the place of learning to be wise through guidance by the Holy Spirit and Bible study.

The world becomes a better place the more Christlike the Church (body of Christ) becomes.

Scripture used or considered in the writing of "Guiding Questions 1: Is What I Plan To Do Purely Selfish or Selfless" by RD Montgomery. All Scripture quoted is in ESV format unless otherwise specified

Deuteronomy 15:7-11

Proverbs 19:17

Proverbs 21:13

Proverbs 22:9

Proverbs 28:27

Isaiah 58:10

Matthew 5:42

Matthew 6:1-4

Matthew 6:19-24

Matthew 25:31-46

Mark 10:44-45

Luke 6:38